Update in 2020 (Top 10 Things to Watch Right Now)

(Cue "It's the end of the world as we know it" by R.E.M. while distant screaming persists in the background.)

SO.

It's been a bad year. (And it's only September.)

All of us right now are absolutely going through it, which is understandable because there's a global pandemic ravaging the world as we know it. I hope everyone out there is doing okay.

Personally, I've taken this time to work on my mental health (to some modicum of success) and to basically ignore the trash fire going on around me by watching movies and TV shows that make me happy. I've decided to make a list of things that I found enjoyable, so that I can share them with you. Maybe then we can bond over our favorite movies and TV shows while the world burns around us.

(This list is in no particular order, by the way)

10. Hamilton (on Disney+)

Now, if you haven't seen the Broadway musical Hamilton yet, I have to say that you're missing out. I can't explain to you why this show is so amazing, but I can tell you that no matter how you feel about American history (especially right now), this show is bound to captivate you and trick you into caring about America's founding fathers. The music is impeccable, the acting is unparalleled, and the casting is just... (chef's kiss). If you haven't watched it yet, please give it a shot (no pun intended), and if you have, go listen to the soundtrack again on Spotify. You know you want to.

9. Normal People (on Hulu)

Normal People was a limited series based on the book by Sally Rooney, produced by the BBC and distributed through Hulu. The overall show is about two Irish people who fall in and out of love over the course of several years, and it's great. If you have Hulu and are able to watch it, I suggest you give the show a chance. It's a romantic show, but it's about much more than that, if you ask me. 10/10 would recommend.

8. Little Fires Everywhere (on Hulu)  

 

Can you say, "all-star cast?" Can you say, "relevant social themes?" This show was amazing. Little Fires Everywhere had all of the things you want out of a good mini series: thoughtful commentary about the "white savior" narrative, drama between Kerry Washington and Reese Witherspoon, LGBT+ representation, etc. We live for it, honestly. I definitely didn't think this show was perfect, but it tackled some issues that aren't usually talked about in this particular format- such as how systemic racism affects white people much differently than people of color. Just like the gif says, "[White people] didn't make good choices [in life]. [They] had good choices." You love to see it. 

7. Work It (on Netflix)

Now this movie may be a little controversial for some of you. Was Work It a good movie? Well, that depends on what your definition of good is. If you're looking for something light, in the vein of a Disney Channel original movie with some fun dance moves thrown in, then you won't be disappointed. Sure the movie is predictable and silly (with some major plot points that are just completely dropped for the sake of moving the story along), but it's a good time to watch. Have a viewing party with some friends over Discord and laugh at how silly it is if you feel so inclined.

6. Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse (on Netflix)

If you haven't seen this movie yet, I don't think I can associate with you in public. Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse is probably the best (yes, I said BEST) Spider-Man movie out to date, and that's including the Tom Holland and Tobey Maguire ones. The plot is more interesting and complex than many of the other Spider-Man movies, and the animation and music in this movie is absolutely stunning. It is definitely worth a watch if you haven't seen it already.

5. Booksmart (on Hulu)

I love this movie. I'm not sure what it is about it that appeals to me, but I think the realism really gets me. I really enjoyed the whole premise of the film, and the way it was executed also really worked for me. Booksmart is relatable for those kids who would kiss up to their English teacher in class, and then never do anything outside of their college approved extracurriculars. I think it speaks to my inner nerd, and that's why I love it. Check it out.

4. Carole & Tuesday (on Netflix)

This one is a little more personal to me, because I absolutely adore this show and all of the music in it. Carole & Tuesday is an anime that focuses on two girls who want to become famous on Mars. It is... problematic, to say the least, especially when it comes to LGBT+ representation, so I'll just put that out there up front. However, I still think that it's worth watching, if only for their friendship and the music. I unironically have like eight of the songs from this show on several different Spotify playlists. Watch it if you want a lighthearted anime with good music.

3. Cobra Kai (on Netflix)

I only recently finished this series, because it was just released to Netflix this past weekend. I knew it used to be a YouTube original (one of the only good ones, so I heard), but I had never taken the time to actually watch it until it hit Netflix. After binging it all in a couple of days, I have to say... I get the hype. Cobra Kai follows the story of the original Karate Kid franchise by telling the story of Johnny Lawrence, the former bully in the original Karate Kid. After losing the biggest karate tournament of his life almost 35 years ago, he decides to reopen the Cobra Kai dojo in spite of his rival, Daniel LaRusso. This show is good, even if you haven't seen the original Karate Kid. It provides just enough context for old and new viewers alike to enjoy.

2. Sorry to Bother You (on Hulu)

I'm just gonna just say it: this movie is WEIRD. It might not start off that way, but trust me, it gets there. Despite that, though, I liked it a lot. Sorry to Bother You is the kind of movie that gets you thinking about the system, and how it's inherently built to oppress those who are disadvantaged. You may or may not remember the advertising for this movie years ago when it mentioned having a "white-voice?" Well, that was honestly just the beginning of how bizarre and macabre this movie gets. I can guarantee you won't see the twist coming.  

 

1. I Am Not an Easy Man (on Netflix)

This one is probably my most controversial on the list, because not only is this movie a French film, but it is also a film about the patriarchy and how much it sucks. This movie is meant to be a romantic comedy, and for the most part it delivers, up until the ending which I didn't particularly care for at all. Nonetheless, I Am Not an Easy Man (translated from the original French title) followed a male chauvinist as he is transported into a world in which females have all of the power instead of men. This movie is a little touchy because I know that some men will be offended by this concept, even, but I found it to be remarkably refreshing to see all of the things that women have to go through on the daily pointed out so blatantly in a film. By flipping the script, it highlights how ridiculously sexist society truly is overall. I would recommend watching it if you like subtitles, but even if you don't- Netflix has a dubbed version in English.

Alrighty. So there's my list of movies and shows to watch that will (hopefully) lift you out of the funk that is currently 2020. On the bright side, there's only three months left in the year, and then it'll be over. Hopefully by 2021 we can all collectively forget that 2020 was such a horrendous shit storm and we can all get vaccinated and go outside again.

Let me know if you've seen any of these shows/ movies already, and what you think. And feel free to recommend some more content for me to watch, because God knows I need something to distract myself from the chaos of the world right now.

Stay safe out there, everybody.

Coco // Review #5

So before we get into it, I feel like I have to acknowledge the fact that I haven't uploaded a movie review in about three months. That's mostly because I'm a lazy person who can't maintain a blog about movies while sustaining a decent GPA in college. So I apologize for not being more consistent with uploading my opinions.

That being said, I know for a fact that no one asked for this blog to exist, but I just felt like I should preface my absence with a valid excuse before I take another long absence as the semester draws to a close. Don't worry- I'll (probably) be more active over winter break, because then I won't have to worry about school.

But never mind that now. Let's begin.

Let's talk about Coco.

Now, I usually don't like to talk about movies that have been recently released in theaters- mostly because I like to give away details within the movies in order to explain why I liked and/or didn't like them. However, I saw this movie recently, and since it just came out over the holiday break, I feel obligated to give a review of this movie without any spoilers, and without giving away any major plot points.

I'm just gonna do my best to explain to the general public why this movie is completely worth seeing, and why everyone should give Coco a fair shot in the box office.

Here's the thing: I have a lot of things to say about this movie, but before I get into them, I would just like to mention the worst part of the movie outright. 

First of all, you should know that my brother and I were almost late to see Coco. We thought we were going to miss the first five minutes or so, but luckily for us, there was this Frozen short at the beginning of the movie that cushioned the run-time so that we could be seated and still catch the last few minutes of the short. Now, to me, the worst part of the movie was this stupid, unnecessary short about Christmas traditions, presented by the cast of Frozen. 

Now for those of you who haven't read it, I will put a link to my blog post on Frozen where I detail exactly why I didn't like the movie, but I will attempt to keep my opinions brief on why this Frozen-themed short was absolutely the worst.

My primary complaint about this short was that it was too damn long.

I can't tell you how often my brother and I looked at each other as we watched the short, waiting for it to end. Sure, we were late to the movie, and admittedly I was grateful for the short because it provided us with more opportunity to see the movie, but after about ten minutes of sitting there watching the Frozen short, I was like "...Okay, when is this going to end?"

I am not even joking when I say that I heard a kid behind me in the theater say, "I thought we were watching Coco," because the short ran as long as a 22-minute cartoon on the Disney Channel. Honestly, it was too much. The whole point of a short is that they're supposed to be short- as in 10 minutes or less. Disney was honestly just pushing their luck.

Had they aired this short on the Disney Channel as a special event to get kids to tune in, I feel like less people would have been annoyed before the movie started, because after the short was over, I heard another, different kid say, "It was good, even though it lasted a million years." (I am not exaggerating.) 

I also love that I am not the only one who had a similar feeling about this stupid short, because apparently people on the internet hate it, too. Here's the link to some funny tweets about how long and trite the Frozen short was:Why Olaf's Frozen Adventure is Literally the Worst. I love those tweets because they validate me.

Anyway, now that that's out of the way, let's get to Coco's spoiler free review. 

Category 1: Plot- B-

I liked the plot of Coco, because it was incredibly culturally significant and touching. If anyone remembers that movie, The Book of Life, from a few years ago, you might recognize similarities between the plot and setting and whatnot, but let me assure you right now that these movies are very different.

As someone who saw The Book of Life and absolutely thought it was trash, I have to say, that I also thought that the plot of Coco and The Book of Life would be similar. And it worried me, to be honest.

Because of that, I had high hopes, but average expectations going into this movie. If Coco sucked- it was alright. I figured it couldn't have been as bad as The Book of Life. But I have to tell you right now that Coco exceeded my expectations, and completely made up for whatever sorry excuse for a movie The Book of Life was three years ago.

In short, the plot of this movie focuses on a twelve year old named Miguel who wants to grow up to a musician, like his idol, Ernesto de la Crúz. Unfortunately, in true Disney fashion, Miguel's family does not want him to pursue music, because of an old family rule that bans music from their household. So one night, Miguel decides to sneak into the mausoleum of Ernesto de la Crúz on El Día de los Muertos (The Day of the Dead) and steal his old guitar. The only thing is, once he plays it, he is sent to the land of the dead.   

Miguel, the main character in Coco, playing Ernesto de la Crúz's cursed guitar.

Thus begins Miguel's adventure, where he finds his skeletal relatives, and he learns exactly why music was banned from their household so long ago. And of course (again), in true Disney fashion, there are plenty of heartfelt moments in the movie that are sure to make you cry, along with some funny moments that will make you smile. 

Overall, without getting into specifics, I enjoyed the plot of this movie, and I thought that the only thing similar between Coco and The Book of Life, were the setting and the fact that the main character liked to sing. The overall plot of the movie is completely different and much more enjoyable than The Book of Life, in my opinion. (But even if you did like The Book of Life you should still go see Coco, por favor.)

Category 2: Themes- A-

Because I am determined not to spoil this movie for anyone who hasn't seen it, I will just suffice it to say that the themes in this movie are more mature than I was expecting for an animated Disney film. That being said, I was actually completely on board for all of the themes in this movie. It's Disney, and so the theme of "family" was obviously present throughout the film, but there was also the underlying theme of "memory" and how that effected your life and the lives of those who came before you. Overall, I wish I could dive deep into why the themes of this movie are so touching and brilliant, but I do not want to spoil any of the actual movie, because I strongly believe that everyone should see it for themselves. Lo siento, muchachos.

Category 3: Animation- A+

Giving Disney an A+ for visual effects and animation is like giving Usain Bolt a gold medal for the 100 meter dash- it's expected, and honestly it's a little unnecessary. Disney always puts a lot of time and effort into it's animation, and obviously Coco is no exception. Particularly though, there was one scene that caught my attention in the movie that I feel like I have to highlight.

Miguel and his dog, Dante, looking up at the land of the dead.

This scene (featured above) is the epitome of beautiful animation and creativity. Before the film even began to play (and right after the obnoxiously long Frozen "short"), there was a brief intro into the movie by a few of the producers, that quickly went over all of the techniques that were used to create this one scene specifically. Apparently, this scene is composed of thousands individual islands in the sky in order to create "the land of the dead," for the movie. The layered animation here is detailed in a way that is astonishing, and I know that hundreds of animators worked their asses off in order to make this movie look as colorful and gorgeous as it turned out. "The land of the dead" is incredibly vast and beautiful to look at in the film, and it made me appreciate all of the time and effort that went into the movie as a whole.

If you're interested in finding out more about the animation of Coco, here's an interesting article from Entertainment Weekly on how they animated the skeletal people in the "land of the dead": How Disney Animated Coco's Skeleton's.

Category 4: Characters-A-

Another thing that I liked about this movie was how all of the characters seemed to feel like real people- especially the skeletons that Miguel meets in "the land of the dead." Honestly, it was amazing how multifaceted and realistic the characters were in the movie, and how they were able to incorporate so much Spanish dialogue and dialect into the film. As someone who does not speak Spanish, I was a little confused at times by this, but it didn't absolutely throw me. In fact, it just added to the environment and the overall feel of the movie.

The two main characters in the movie, I would say, are Miguel (the 12 year old boy), and Hector, a skeleton Miguel meets in the lad of the dead. In true movie fashion, Hector and Miguel must stick together throughout the whole movie in order to both get what they need from one another. As a whole, the dynamic between these two characters was great, and the two of them respectively had a lot of heart.

Overall, I loved all of the characters in this movie and how three dimensional they were.

Category 5: Music-B+

There was a fair amount of music in this movie, despite the fact that Miguel's family did not allow him to play music in the first place. And while the music in Coco isn't Moana level catchy, it's good. I quite enjoyed the music that was played throughout this movie, and I admired the talented voice actors that they got to sing all of the songs. The only person I was familiar with before watching this movie was the actor Benjamin Bratt, who was in Miss Congeniality and is now on the TV show, Star. However, the kid who played the main role of Miguel, Anthony Gonzalez, absolutely killed it in this role. I had never heard of him before, but for a twelve year old kid, he had some pipes!

My brother even looked over at me while a musical number was playing and asked me who the kid was that was singing, and we had to Google it afterwards. Honestly, he was impressive to listen to.

Some of the music that was sung in the movie was in Spanish, and if you don't speak Spanish it can make it a little harder to enjoy, but honestly, the music still sounded good, regardless.

Just a warning, there is one song that might get stuck in your head after you leave the theater and that is "Remember Me." This song was sung maybe four times throughout the movie, and honestly once you watch it, you'll understand why. It's honestly such a beautiful song with a beautiful sentiment behind it.

Overall, the music was incredibly good and the vocals of the voice actors were amazing.

Category 6: Kid-Friendliness- B

For the record, this movie is PG. And when I walked out of the movie, I could honestly understand why parental guidance is recommended when watching this movie. The themes of this movie are a little more mature than you would expect for a traditional G-rated Disney movie. However, that being said, I still think that kids should watch it. There is nothing in this movie that is hard for children to understand, and frankly I did not find it inappropriate in any particular way. In fact, based on the setting, plot, and themes of this movie, I would to say that it is probably one of the most important movies for children to watch now. With our current social climate and people failing to relate to one another on a base level, I would say that exposing your children to a different culture with a different language could help them in the long run. If only to show them that there is more to Disney movies than just princesses and castles.

As someone who views representation as one of the most valuable things in media and film, I think that Coco is a great representation of Mexican culture (Disclaimer: I am not Mexican, and I cannot wholly confirm the accuracy of the cultural representations.), and I enjoyed the movie very much.

I believe that Disney is in the era of recognizing the importance of representation in its media, and realizing that not every child comes from the same background. Movies like Mulan, Aladdin, Lilo and Stitch, The Emperor's New Groove, The Princess and the Frog, Moana, and now Coco, prove that within the past twenty years Disney is trying its hardest to recognize that representation matters, and that it is worth putting into its animation.

 Overall, I really liked Coco.

It had a good story, with a good heart and good characters. It even managed to make me cry at the end, which made my brother look over at me and call me a "sucker." But I don't care. I enjoyed it, and for that I am going to give Coco a B+. 

(Keep in mind that the individual grades have no actual bearing on my overall grade, and that just because I gave it a B+, it does not mean that I did not enjoy the film. Ve a verlo, por favor.)

This is a first for me, not only because this is my first-spoiler free review since my very first review on Fantastic Beasts, but because this is the first time I have given a good grade to a film I have reviewed on this blog. Maybe this is a turning point in the formatting....

Nah. I wouldn't count on many more positive reviews if I were you. I have a lot of opinions, after all.

Overall, I hope that you go see Coco, out in theaters now (I am not sponsored by Disney, although I wish that I was.). I just think that it's a good, wholesome movie, featuring a person of color as the main character. By no means is it my favorite Disney movie, but I just think that these types of movies need all the promotion they can get, especially when Frozen is such global phenomenon. It is important that we let Disney know that Frozen isn't all that matters, and that culturally and racially diverse movies are just as supported by movie-going audiences.

Gracias.

The Fate of the Furious // Review #4

Here's a movie I didn't think I'd have a lot of opinions on:

The Fate of the Furious (otherwise known as Fast 8, or the 8th one, for those of us who can't keep up with the rapidly changing movie titles) was a movie that I watched recently, and surprisingly I have a lot of things to say about it.

I have a lot of thoughts on this movie for interesting reasons. It's not because I didn't enjoy it- because I did- but I think I may have enjoyed it for the wrong reasons. 

And before I get into the specifics, I just wanted to preface this with the fact that I did not intend to write a review of this movie when I first sat down. In fact, I was going to review another Disney movie. But after I saw this movie, I felt the need to express some opinions. 

So let's get into it, shall we:

Category 1: Themes- C-

If you've never seen a Fast and Furious movie, there are a few things you should be aware of before you just launch into one.

Those things are 1. The movies revolve around fast cars, regardless of whether or not said cars make practical sense in the context of the movie, and 2. The movies perpetuate this theme of friends becoming family, and they do it almost relentlessly.

The Fate of the Furious was no different.

There's an ongoing joke that says there should be a drinking game where you take a shot every time Vin Diesel says "family" in F&F, but honestly, if you did that, you would die of alcohol poisoning.

Now, I have only ever seen Furious 7, or the last movie that was shot before the death of primary cast member Paul Walker. So when I saw that movie, I thought it was sweet that they mentioned family so many times, especially in order to pay homage to the actor who had recently passed.

I was not aware going into this movie that saying "family" was a common theme among all of the movies.

In fact, I rolled my eyes every time the word "family" was mentioned in The Fate of The Furious. That's because this movie tries to beat you over the head with a stick that has the word "family" written on it, in its attempts to convince you that it's promoting a theme instead of just being repetitive and hollow.

The reason why I was so annoyed with the "family" theme in this movie specifically was because the whole film seemed manufactured. The thing about Furious 7 was that the movie's "family" theme felt genuine because a cast member on the movie had just died and the remaining cast said they thought of him as their actual family. It gave the movie stakes that the viewer could feel even though Paul Walker's death wasn't even mentioned in the actual movie. The "family" theme seemed more genuine.

This time it felt... hollow.

One reason for that might have been that some members of the cast- who I'm not gonna name- (*cough* Vin Diesel *cough* Dwayne Johnson *cough, cough*) absolutely hated each other. There were multiple news outlets that said that these two people didn't want to be anywhere near each other on set, and they had to shoot scenes on different days just to avoid one another. Now, does that sound like family to you?

I mean, sure, we all have that annoying younger sibling or cousin that we want absolutely nothing to do with, but that's why we have movies like the F&F franchise- to remind us that family is important.

Diesel and Johnson tried to squash their feud before the movie came out in April, but it was still a little strange that it even happened in the first place. And the worst thing is, the feud translates into the movie. You can definitely feel the tension between them in the movie, just like Dwayne admits in his comments about shooting the film:

[W]hen you watch this movie next April, and it seems like I’m not acting in some of these scenes and my blood is legit boiling — you’re right. 

My female co-stars are always amazing, and I love ’em. My male co-stars however are a different story...Some conduct themselves as stand up men and true professionals, while others don’t. The ones that don’t are too chicken s–t to do anything about it anyway. Candy asses. - Dwayne Johnson, Facebook

It also struck me as strange that the series continued on even after a primary member of their "family" died tragically. And yes, they did write Paul Walker a nice goodbye and a sweet send-off from the official Fast franchise in Furious 7, but soon after its success they announced a new F&F movie was being made.

After they announced The Fate of the Furious it kind of stuck with me that this series really isn't about family at all. It's about making money.

Furious 7 acknowledged Paul Walker's death beautifully, but then the franchise inevitably decided that the show must go on, and that just because Paul Walker was dead it didn't mean that Vin Diesel didn't need a paycheck. 

I don't know. It just felt odd and a little disrespectful to me that they continued the series after the death of one of its most prominent characters.

But hey, the "fast cars" theme was still in The Fate of the Furious... That's cool, right?

Category 2: Plot- D

I thought the plot of this movie was a little corny from the start- I'm not gonna lie. It looked like a good concept in the trailer, but in practice it was really campy and a little overly dramatic for my liking. I think this has more to do with the forced plot point of "family" being the most important thing to the main character Dominic (played by Vin Diesel) than anything.

Overall, the plot wasn't bad... But it also wasn't good.

Basically Dominic double crossed his "family," in order to obtain some deadly weapons for this hacker woman (played by Charlize Theron) who wants to blow up the world.

And the catch is, (SPOILER) Charlize Theron is holding Dominic's old girlfriend, and the baby that she and Dominic had together, hostage until Dominic does what she wants.

This reveal is supposed to be super dramatic and important to the movie because it helps to develop stakes, but I honestly didn't care about this girlfriend woman because I didn't know who the hell she was. I mentioned before that I had only ever seen Furious 7, and that's probably why I didn't recognize Dom's old girlfriend, but I feel like that's a flaw in the movie. I think the whole film relies too heavily on the viewer being aware of the previous movies. Which, I suppose is fair- Who just starts watching a movie series at movie number eight?- but at the same time, this movie hinges on information established in previous movies instead of just developing a new plot, which is a problem.

In Furious 7- which I know I'm referencing a lot, I'm sorry- you didn't have to have any information about what happened in previous movies, the movie made sense on its own. But The Fate of the Furious references old characters from previous movies as plot points and depends on a fan base that is already familiar with these people in order to drive the central story.

And honestly, even if I was familiar with Dom's old girlfriend from previous movies, I would still think it's an annoying plot devise. It's just lazy fan service, and personally I don't like it when movies do stuff like that.

Category 3: Characters- B+

All of the characters from the previous movies are back for The Fate of the Furious, and overall, they were pretty much as funny and lighthearted as they always have been. Of course Vin Diesel was back for the 8th installment- he's the face of the damn series. Ludacris and the girl from Game of Thrones are back again to play the two black nerds of the team. Dwanye Johnson was there to make everyone else look inferior, and Michelle Rodriguez was bad-ass, as always. But Tyrese Gibson's character, Roman, was obviously my favorite. That was mostly because he was probably the only realistic one in the group, and he was very, very funny. And then, to my surprise, they added Jason Statham's character to the team, despite him being the villain of the last movie.

To be honest with you, I like the characters, and my favorite parts of the movie are more-so character based than plot based.

For example, if The Fate of the Furious had just scrapped the rest of the team and just made an action/romance/comedy between Dwanye Johnson and Jason Statham, I would have paid all of my money to see it. I loved the entire build-up of the bromance that the two of them had in the film. Like, they were both constantly threatening to kick the shit out of one another, but you could tell that they secretly wanted to make-out. And I'm not normally someone who ships couples like that, but I was sitting there watching the movie like, "Now kiss!"

This was only reinforced when (SPOILER) Johnson's character thinks that Statham's character is dead and he got really upset. Of course Statham's character wasn't actually dead, but it was a cute moment in the movie that made me go, "Aww, don't be sad about your boyfriend, man..."

Another thing that I definitely wanted more of was the scene at the end of the movie where Statham was shooting people and fighting them to the death, while holding Dom's baby. It was the BEST part of the film, hands down, and I wanted more of it in my life. It was so cute I could have died. I love Jason Statham and that baby because of that adorable little scene near the end of the movie.

The only people I didn't exactly care for in this movie were Scott Eastwood's character and Charlize Theron's character.

Personally I thought that Scott Eastwood's character was super annoying and unnecessary. The other main characters in the movie didn't even like him, and they constantly made fun of him in the film, which is not a great way to introduce a character that the audience is supposed to like.

The YouTube channel "Game Grumps" came up with a solution to this problem in proposing that instead of Scott Eastwood's character, the F&F franchise should have picked up the character Baby from Baby Driver. Honestly I think that would have been a major improvement overall.

If you're interested- check out their podcast about Baby Driver on YouTube where they mention it: The G Club: Baby Driver in F&F.

(*Cough, cough* While you're at it, why don't you go and check out my thoughts on Baby Driver on the blog post I made last month?)

Charlize Theron's character had a bad habit of going on long tangents about "choices" and how they were important or whatever, but I can't tell you how many times I was like, "Dom, shoot her! Just kill her already! She's monologuing for crying out loud!" (And yes, I know that if Dom had killed her, she would have had his son killed, but it didn't mean I wanted her to die any less).

Also her character motivations were stupid, and as if that wasn't enough to make you dislike her- just look at the hairstyle she had for the entire fucking movie:

She had this weird attempt at dreads that didn't make any sense at all. I was a little like, "WTF" every time she was on screen.

Category 4: Scripting- C-

In this category, I'm going to define scripting as the ability of The Fate of the Furious to demonstrate a coherent script that displays characters in a way that doesn't effect my suspension of disbelief.

Let me just say that straight off the bat my suspension of disbelief was ruined.

In the first five minutes of the movie there was a car race, because of course there was, and after the person who was not a main character lost, they graciously admitted defeat. To me, this entire scene felt empty and scripted, and it screamed to me that nothing about this movie was real. None of it felt like anything other than a poorly written excuse to drive a fast car and blow up some stuff.

There were several scenes like this, that felt forced and scripted. A lot of the comedy in this movie didn't exactly land, and some of the monologue scenes felt drawn out and unrealistic.

It honestly got to the point where I could predict what the characters were gonna say before they said it, and if you're a screenwriter, that shouldn't be something to aim for.

To put if briefly, the scripting in this movie was a stereotypical example of what characters are like in action movies.

Category 5: Action- B

I liked the action in this movie. I thought it was fun. I had really no problems with it, other than the fact that the action scenes with Dwanye Johnson were a little over-the-top and heavily produced. I mean, I could get behind the prison fight (mostly), but when he got out of his car to steer a fucking missile into another highly armed military vehicle, I was like, "Come on, really?" (That goes back to ruining my suspension of disbelief.) Everything was too over the top.

Something else that I should mention is that a lot of people died in this film.

And I know that comes with the territory of action movies and I know that a lot of people usually die. HOWEVER- AND THIS IS A BIG HOWEVER- usually most action movies show hoards of bad guys dying.

In The Fate of the Furious thousands of innocent people potentially get hurt or killed; except it's all off camera, so no one has to think about the consequences of blowing up cars or buildings. It bothers the shit out of me when people like civilians or government workers get killed in movies like this just because, "Hey- it's an action movie, why not?"

SPOILERS AHEAD

This especially occurred to me in the large car scene where Charlize Theron's character sent a hoard of electric and automatic cars hurdling down the street- regardless of whether or not they had people inside of them. Now, I actually really liked this scene because A) It was horrifying; it depicted an inevitable future where all cars could be hacked, and B) It was just flat out cool looking.

But I also realized while watching this movie that a lot of those extras that were in their smart cars probably ended up crashing into buildings and dying tragically. Which put a damper on the scene and made me a little upset at this movie for not acknowledging the chaos.

Another scene that is like that is at the end, where the team, or- excuse me- "family" is attempting to escape a bunch of Russian government workers who are just doing their job. The "family" stole something from a Russian submarine (in order to save the world from Charlie Theron's character), and so the Russians were chasing them down just to get their shit back.

How does the "family" respond?

By redirecting missiles at them, like I said before.

This was a little annoying to me because it wasn't like the Russians were wrong for wanting their shit back. And them chasing the "family" down and shooting at them for stealing something was not exactly grounds to blow all of them up. But it happened anyway, because action movie.

Long story short, it really bothers me when a movie shows a lot of cars and buildings just exploding in insane action sequences, without referencing the fact that millions of people probably died. (That's one of the many reasons why I think Man of Steel is a shitty movie.)

Category 6: Shameless money grabbing ploy- B+

These movies are cash cows.

I am not exaggerating.

The Fate of the Furious has amassed over 1.2 billion dollars since its release in April, and according to Wikipedia, this movie had the biggest worldwide film opening since 2002. Furious 7 currently holds the title as the sixth highest worldwide film opening since 2002, and it has made about 1.5 billion dollars since its release in 2015.

So I think I was right before in my claim that these movies are not about "family" at all, but rather, presenting the illusion of family as a ploy to make billions.

As of right now, seeing how lucrative the franchise is, I'm not surprised that they've announced another movie coming out from the F&F crew in two years. 

In fact, there are even two more movies in the works, to round the series out at ten films. But then again, that's only for right now. I am willing to bet that if those movies do as well as the previous ones, they may continue to make F&F movies until the day Vin Diesel kicks the bucket.

Overall, what did I think about The Fate of the Furious?

I thought it was okay.

I thought this movie was very funny for a lot of reasons that probably shouldn't have been funny. For example, this movie tried to take itself seriously, while still remaining what it was- an action comedy. It tried really hard to get me to care about the drama aspect that was thrown into the middle of the movie, but I just wasn't buying it. That, along with the over-the-top action sequences and scripted dialogue made the movie feel really campy and almost ironic when I watched it.

To sum it up, I liked the movie, but as far as grades go, I'll give it an E for "Eh, I ironically enjoyed it."